My connection to houston has finally spilled her beans.

I asked and asked and asked about the bugs. She always said it was not that bad. Then tonight she spills her soul, telling me that there could be 2-3 inch sized roaches that kind of maybe fly..... and like sometimes they might fly toward you and not away.

To give you an example of my fear of roaches. When I came back from Toronto last weekend, I turned on the kitchen light to do some built up dishes that I left before taking the trip, only to find a roach the size of maybe 1/3 of an inch crawling across the counter. From seeing this sight, I did what could be only described as Jason Bourne like dive from the kitchen to my bedroom, crashing through the french doors while screaming "Gaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuu!"

She wasn't that hot anyway. Bitch better move to LA or this semi relationship is over.

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I just told my uncle over the phone that I couldn't move to Houston due to this very reason. This was his response, and I hope I can translate this right.

Uncle: "............. Listen dipshit, when I lived in Korea the mosquitoes were so big that you woke up at night because they were knocking at the door asking to come in. I am so shamed of you that it has made me feel dirty."


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Anyone from Houston read this shit? Confirm or deny the 747 sized roaches.